Your teen doesn’t have a career plan? 5 surprising ways to help

 So, your teen doesn’t have a plan for their future? The surest way to effectively kill their career aspirations is by “parenting” them into a plan. If you don’t want to guide their every adult decision indefinitely, now is a good time to stop parental guidance. This young person is attempting to establish their future as an adult by selecting an education and career path. These are adult decisions. Guide them as fellow adults.

First of all, it’s important to understand two things:

• A teen that has developed a pure passion and a clear path forward in life is blessed. They have been handed a paved road by fate and this should be celebrated. It’s enviable. It’s fortunate.
• A teen that has not developed a clear education or career plan is stressed. They are lost in the woods and must forge a path through the trees. They aren’t equipped with the life skills and worldliness that this requires. But here’s the newsflash – you can’t do it for them.

They are not an extension of you, and no matter how well you know them, you cannot know what interests them and makes them happy better than they know themselves.

If they don’t know what education and/or career plan your teen they should make, I promise you, you don’t either.

But that’s okay! In fact, it’s good.

According to this study on career aspirations in children and adolescents, their imaginations are not keeping up with the changing labor market. About half of both boys and girls are generally selecting from just 10 popular career choices. Many of these careers are at risk of loss or limitation due to automation or other technological changes.

This is a video of an OECD conference discussing these findings.

Just take a lesson from the teaching profession during the pandemic. How might this profession change in the short and long terms as we are forced to take a more technological view of early education?

Here are 5 suggestions for offering career plan guidance to the teen that is not blessed with career certainty.

1. First and foremost, cauterize the stress valves.

Young people are pressured frequently to answer questions about their future, and the lack of certainty can translate into a lack of security, anxiety, and decision paralysis. They are coerced from every direction to pick a passion from teachers, relatives, parents, counselors, coaches, you name it, and to do it soon. Don’t pile on.

Sample conversation:    

“What are you going to do for a living?”

“I’m not sure.”

Wrong response: You better start thinking about it, the clock is ticking.

Right response: That’s great! Keep your options open. There are going to be lots of opportunities that you aren’t even aware of yet.

2. Guide them away from Narrowing Down and toward Widening Up.

There is a tendency to apply pressure to select a college major during high school and to avoid changing it. It is not necessarily a good thing for a 16/17 yr old to close down all their options and pick a specialty that may not translate well into other potential occupations. The student that doesn’t have certainty and passion about a career path should be encouraged to pursue a college major that opens doors.

Science and Engineering degrees are good options because they are rooted in the scientific method, method development, math, and problem-solving. Not to mention, they are tough programs. A high-performing student that completes a degree in Mechanical Engineering or Biochemistry will have unrelated career opportunities simply because this coursework can be associated with many job skills and, generally speaking, hard work and a solid intellect.

Economics, Psychology, and Business are also degree programs that translate into a variety of skill sets. This is not comprehensive. Encourage students to follow a path that interests them but will also have the feature of opening many doors, not just one or few.

3. Be their defensive line.

It is probably because adults don’t know how to interact with young people very well, but the question will come up often. With elementary-aged students the question is always, “What’s your favorite subject in school?” or “What do you want to be when you grow up?” With high school-aged students, it’s usually, “What are you going to major in?” or “What are you going to do for a living?”

Again, it’s anxiety-producing. Reinforce the idea that it’s okay not to know yet by coming to their defense if the opportunity arises.

 “Jason is looking at a lot of different options right now. He’s not ready to start narrowing it down yet. It’s very exciting.”

“What is Mabel going to be doing? Taking on the world! She is pursuing her interests and developing herself.”

4. It’s eHarmony, not Tinder.

How different is the search for a compatible partner from the search for a compatible career? Why shouldn’t it be treated similarly?

A person needs a match, a fulfilling relationship with their career that supports them and fosters growth. They need to have a healthy relationship with themselves and to understand their interests, strengths, and weaknesses before they should contemplate lifelong decisions.

Are you anxious for your 19 yr old to settle down and pick a spouse? I didn’t think so.

Typical advice for a single person is to know yourself first. Date around before settling. Spend time doing the things that interest you so that you will naturally meet people with similar interests. Be selective about your circle of friends and acquaintances to increase your odds of meeting high-caliber matches.

Advice for the teen who doesn’t have a career plan should be essentially the same. Get to know yourself. Follow your interests. Surround yourself with quality individuals and get to know others. Don’t settle.

5. Unpopular opinion – College doesn’t have to come next.

Put aside for a minute the statistics that college is worth the expense – despite the rising costs of college, degreed adults still earn considerably more during their lifetime than non-degreed adults. Yes, agreed. It is worth it.

But consider these other statistics.  According to this report, 1/3 of college students have not completed a degree program after 6 years, and 1 in 5 college students never complete a degree.

I will venture to suggest that the students that are not finishing are not the students who have known for years what they wanted to do with their lives.  

A college education is not a commodity. You don’t walk into a college and walk out with a degree like you just purchased a car. It is an investment, and not just of money. It is an investment of time, energy, sweat and tears. It’s long nights and test anxiety. It’s no money and imposter syndrome. You have to really want it.

College is too big of an emotional and financial investment to jump into without the desire and drive. It is much more economical to admit you are not ready and financially support yourself until the drive is there and the plan is coming into focus. Yes, it might get more difficult to enroll when you are entrenched in your life. More sacrifices will have to be made to get started. And what better way to start.

Kas

The preceding article is a reflection of my own opinions as a serial career changer, possessor of four college degrees, the parent of one high school senior with evolving career plans, and one financially independent adult without a college degree (yet).